Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

Take 1: In The Phantom Menace Uncle George delivers another immaculate conception (Darth Christ), meaning Easter should feature long-eared Gungans.

Take 2: Anakin never had a chance in The Phantom Menace, what with Qui-Gon and Watto fighting to own him, and Darth Sidious waiting to see his potential once he grows older and gets bigger. It’s almost a NAMBLA ad, but it’s really the origin story of Luke’s boyish good looks.

–May 31, 2019

"These are the words I said to you," sayeth the Curator, Garrett Chaffin-Quiray